Not sure how this is happening, but two years have passed since my last post. Feels kinda planned but I swear it isn't. So....
After my last post, Liza died. On January 19, 2022. The coroner said it was arteriosclerosis but I know that had she not got Covid, she would have still been here with us. We all loved her so much....and I still can't believe that she's gone for the rest of my time. To be honest I've wrestled with guilt feelings about whether I did enough to help her. At one point, about a week before, she said yes, she would let me take her to the ER for help....but wanted to wait until she could get the knots out of her hair. She had baby fine hair like her father and it got terrible knots in it. I knew she was getting weaker and more muddled in her replies...but I didn't know what to do about it. Maybe I should have called 911 and let them deal with her....but I just couldn't do that to her. I'm crying inside all the time. She just slipped away from me....and I didn't know how or even when. Dammit, what kind of a mother am I? I have awful thoughts of how long she was dead, did she suffer or was it sudden? I don't suppose those thoughts will ever go away. Writing helps a little. But I'm still hurting a lot.
Richard and I went to London, Antwerp, Brussels & Paris in April '23 for 2 weeks. It was lovely and I wish I could walk stronger, I'd like to go to Italy. Then Madeleine came to visit in December '23 for 3 weeks and we spent one week in San Diego with the SD THompsons. Martin & Lora were great hosts and we had a fabulous time.
I adopted a new cat in December '22...Forrest. An orange kitty about 10 or 11 years old. He lived with a woman down the hall. She was a druggie/alcoholic and became a mental patient who couldn't live on her own any more. Forrest isa nice boy; he goes for walks down the hall with me each night. A big sweetie and a gentleman. So that was a good thing. Poor guy was going to end up at the Humane Shelter so I'm glad they gave me the opportunity to care for him. He was quite hungry when he got here so it took a little while to acclimate him. He's good now.
I've been feeling well except for a little depression. To be expected I think. Thats all for now.
